When will we all learn to erase the "us" vs. "them" from our conversations about addiction? Regularly, I hear conversations about people who are addicted and this tone creeps into the dialogue; a tone that says, "I'm glad that's not my problem." It's time to both reframe our understanding of the problem and then recast our responses to the issues. Understanding the Problem In her teaching series, "Clean Sober & Saved," Tracy Strawberry refers to passage of Scripture in Romans that points us to the root problem; a problem that exists not just in one class of people or one behavior of people, but something applicable to all of humanity. 14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:14-17 NLT - emphasis added) The problem is the sin nature, and the sin nature is in all people. In one person it manifests itself in overeating. To another it becomes control and domination. To another it arises as uncontrollable anger. Others are gripped by fear. In others it shows itself to be sexually immoral. For others it manifests as greed or verbal abuse. The list goes on and on. For some, it manifests as substance abuse. The problem for all humanity is the sin nature. Sin causes pain and everyone chooses how to deal with the reality of their own pain ... some choose drugs and alcohol. The second reason why addiction is everyone's issue is understanding the social effects that snowball from it. In nearly every town in our country where substance abuse is rampant you will find tapped financial resources, overworked and discouraged law enforcement, concerned health care workers, hurting families, and so much more. However, there is hope for all of these issues; issues that we all must share and for which we must all accept ownership. Recasting our responses. "God is not mad at you." (Tracy Strawberry) Jesus comes to help, not to harm. Jesus comes to set people free, not to condemn. Isn't the problem condemning enough already? God desires your healing and is ready to make you whole in a way you never thought possible. Are you ready and willing to participate in this process? Since God is not mad at those who are affected by addiction, then why are some people so angry, and why are some who say they love God so angry? Responses of anger will never contribute to the true solution. Compassionate action is the key. Compassionate language and action will come from anyone who understands their own desperate need for God and has found hope in Him, then sees a sister or brother in need who is also loved by God, but trapped in their own troubles. Addiction causes pain, but the missing PEACE is Christ Jesus. Addiction is everyone's issue. Sin is everyone's condition. Compassionate Action is needed for all, in the name of Jesus. AMEN.
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I remember the morning I woke up to discover my father had spent most of the night sleeping in his Toyota truck in the driveway. I was about 14 years old and my father's drinking problem had really begun to have a grip on his life. My mother, in her frustration as to know how to handle it, began to attend Al-Anon meetings with a neighbor. Prior to Al-Anon, Mom would just always rescue Dad and fill in the gaps for his behavior and shortcomings. Mom would make excuses for him and "help" him. Prior to Al-Anon there was yelling, objects got thrown in our home and anger escalated to seemingly dangerous levels. Frustration reigned. Knowing where to draw the line when "helping" the addicted is one of the most difficult things a loved one will ever do. However, the constant rhythm of rescuing someone from their destructive behavior simply informs them that you will always be there to "fix" and handle their issues when they overindulge. It's the meeting of two type of overindulgence... substance and saving. One gets addicted to a substance and the other to saving the addicted. Both must let go for there to be healing. It's very hard to let someone sleep in a driveway all night because they passed out in their vehicle. The loved one might lay awake all night thinking, "Am I doing the right thing?" "Perhaps I should just go out there and get them." "What if they drive off and hurt themselves or someone else?" "Will I be the one to blame if that happens?" In this case it's important to make wise choices, and resist the temptation to engage in familiar responses. In order for behavior to change, both parties have to change. Proverbs 20:1 NIV "Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise." The Hebrew words for "wine" and "beer" refer to intoxication. To live in a state of intoxication, albeit from drink or responding to the drinker, is not wise. Both need wisdom. Wisdom comes from God. James 1:5 NIV "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." For our family, wisdom was found when we began to let Dad be responsible for his own actions. If he was drunk, then whatever happened was on him. Please understand that this was incredibly difficult at first. Our whole family was filled with anxiety as things actually got "worse" before we noticed any change. The hopeful news is this... things eventually changed... slowly... over time. We all gained wisdom in the process. Amen. Father, We ask for wisdom today for all those who love someone who is addicted. We ask for everyone involved to be free from the intoxication that has gripped them all and pray that your presence guides, directs and delivers them from all their troubles. May Your great love and mercy begin this difficult, but necessary work, and bring their families to places of peace and freedom and rest. Amen. |
AuthorThe team of Addiction Response Ministry responds with messages of hope, help, and healing. Archives
January 2017
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